Destruction Brings Beauty & Wealth

There is a Japanese art called Kintsugi where broken pieces of pottery are glued back together with colorful paint, to make obvious the cracks and imperfections of the item. The artwork is left more beautiful by making light of its ‘broken’ history.

“Where the glass cracks, the light enters.”

As I let go of what this season of life and business is supposed to look like, it seems fitting to start with this analogy of Kintsugi art.

So much of the spiritual world is about making ourselves perfect, clean, or pure. About clearing our psyches or detoxing our bodies for some kind of heightened frequency. And although all of that has a place, the Feminine Path and the Great Mother are here to remind us that what we deem ‘perfect’ or ‘high frequency’ is a completely programmed perception that may be blinding us of our very Beauty & Magic in this moment.

As I recover from years of burnout from running my Hawai’i Studio, I realize that the Feminine had to break me down in order to soften me up. I had to move through a lot of programming and belief systems around what it meant to be ‘of service' in this world and that required a good amount of destruction both internally and externally.

The Dark Goddess is often perceived as something very heavy, deep, and scary. It can come with shadow work, trauma awareness, and all kinds of unknown secrets that have been lying dormant in our psyche, just hiding away from our everyday experience.

What we don’t realize is that this work of moving through Rebirth & Destruction doesn’t have to be so heavy. We get to choose to have a light heart around bringing back the pieces of our True Self. We get to choose what destruction of what no longer serves will look and feel like. I was reading one of the Gnostic Gospels recently and what stuck out to me was something to the extent of:

“Why do you focus on fear? Do you not believe I AM with you?'“

We forget, no matter what our belief is, that God, Source, the Great Mother, etc. is W I T H us, alongside us, writing our story for us.

If we decide to look at these fears with a new set of eyes and give them a place to be witnessed, what we find is that they are not so scary after all. What we find is that we are more scared of stepping into our Greatness, being seen, or owning who we truly are than anything else

DESTRUCTION IS REQUIRED FOR GRACE & WEALTH

Something I have been sitting with lately as I continue to close out the Hawai’i-based Business is how we are reclaiming our True Body Wealth every time we say No or allow those things that no longer serve us to fall apart.

For so long, I did everything I could to keep the temple open. I went into debt, I affirmed my way into believing that it must stay open, I invested al of my time, energy and resources to keep it alive, not realizing that life was slowly preparing me to embody energetic wealth and embodied nourishment.

I want to share with you a short story about what happened to my spiritual body and energy field upon the closing of this Kailua temple, to hopefully bring some insight into what may be ‘holding you down’ or depleting your energy field from expanding into the Diamond Light you already are.

During the time the Temple was open, my mind, energy, and time were 95% spent on how we could improve, pivot, and support the Temple. I was fully dedicated to keeping it alive. Until on an Equinox Portal day the message was clear - It’s time to move on. We need you for other things in this next phase of your mission.

Ok. One thing I’ve learned with time is that there is no pushing back the Guidance. When it is given, I listen and follow suit, no matter how insane it may sound (like moving from the paradise of Hawai’i to New Jersey!).

So I started the process of closing the space, which was something I didn’t even know was possible given the lease contract and many other circumstances. But of course, there’s nothing a little Magic can’t help you get done! So we did it. My husband and I traveled to Hawai’i and closed our doors.

Now here’s the part I want you to take in because it’s something I never expected.

What I had failed to remember was the very Wisdom that I so deeply believe in and opened my path to the Feminine - the Wisdom of Cyclical Living - the Menses. The Wisdom of allowing every cycle its full lifespan and reaping its full medicine after the cycle has closed. This was the moment where reaping the medicine after the closure (aka - destruction) began.

Upon turning in the keys, and giving my Thank You’s to the building that made this Dream possible, I saw a massive flush of energy spiral back into my body and up my spine. As if, all of the energy, resources and effort I put into this Temple was now returning to me. I felt my energy centers light up and I felt more full than I had in YEARS! It was insane! I almost felt bad for feeling FULL and ALIVE upon closing a space that was so near and dear to my heart and soul.

The same thing happened when it was time to close down the legal aspects of the business. I kept reclaiming so much energy back into my body that I naturally began to feel more nourished, alive, creative and excited for what was to come! I hadn’t realized how down on life or ‘dragging’ my energy field became because I got used to living with it! It was in that moment that I realized how even putting my focus and thoughts into this project was not only no longer serving me, it was DEPLETING ME! The amount of life force I was giving to something that no longer gave me life was stripping me away from my very life force and embodied wealth.

And by ripple effect, my initiation with Wealth was ready for a deeper level of intimacy. Upon arriving home, I began to magnetize so many wonderful opportunities to share my gifts and work, without even trying! This was something truly Magical and something I had to live in order to believe.

This showed me that what was once our life-long dream could one day become our greatest obstacle. We must be malleable. We must move with the times. We must be open to Destruction and Grace moving hand in hand. They are one coin - the Great Coin of Creation - the Great Coin of Death - of Beginnings and Endings in one place.

We must be open to Destruction and Grace moving hand in hand.

They are one coin - the Great Coin of Creation - the Great Coin of Death.

REWIRING OUR FEAR

We all have a subconscious. We all have fears and things that for some reason our body cringes when we think about it. This is because we haven’t fully gone into this thing fully. We haven’t looked at it straight in the face and seen it for what it actually is. And on top of that, we’ve given it a whole lot of power over us. We’ve lifted it up on a pedestal and decided we’ll just leave it there for another day.

For me, this past year, it was about giving an old business dream all of my life force energy and wanting to believe that without it I couldn’t have the same impact or service to people. There was a deep sense of fear around failing at a life-long dream and being worthless to society.

I want you to think of something right now that you have decided is too painful to admit. Or perhaps something that makes your body cringe or your mind spiral. Cmon’. Let’s do this together as we invite the Great Coin of Creation and the Wisdom of the Goddess to be here with us today.

Now that thing, I want you to expand your breath into your Heart and think or say out loud:

I see you.

You are allowed to be here for the time being but you are not allowed to have Power over me.

Come on over here and sit on my lap. Let’s chat

And after doing so, just take a few breaths.

One breath in, One breath out.

Let yourself sit with the sensation of this thing that has been lingering in the background of your psyche (or maybe even just sitting on your shoulder) to be seen.

Notice what happens to your heart rate and your emotional field the longer you breath with it.

This is the beginning of a deep rewiring we must all go through when we begin to Initiate with Destruction, Death and Rebirth. This is a large part of the Seductress Path within the SOFIA school of Feminine Initiatory Arts as we initiate our Feminine Power.

HELD BY GRACE THROUGH DESTRUCTION

When we enter the Mysteries of the Sacred Feminine, we feel held.

We feel held in pain, in suffering, in grief, in hurt, and in destruction.

Does it make it easier?

Absolutely, not.

The physical and mental bodies will have to experience what they are holding onto in terms of physical experiences.

But, there is a sense of Grace.

There is a sense of God or Goddess by your side.

There is a sense that you are not alone; this life is not a waste, and as a matter of fact, there is divine intelligence behind everything you are living and you have lived until this point.

The Magician archetype within the SOFIA school of Feminine Initiatory Arts is a big part of fully embodying and integrating this vast polarity of life. A polarity we are not often taught in spiritual communities and traditions because it is too contradictory to our ‘perfectly controlled’ reality.

Just like our menstrual cycle teaches us, every winter (bleed) brings with it a type of death. That is a mini-miracle we have as women. To be forced by our bodies every 28 days or so to sit, be and listen to our wombs. To sit with the Wisdom of Life’s Cycles. To allow our bodies to speak to us is deeply profound yet subtle ways. And when we don’t sit and listen, there are painful consequences to deal with.

The same goes for life. When we decide to NOT sit and listen, and instead pretend that life is a forever uphill ride, instead of a spiraling journey, the ‘destruction’ of what does not serve will likely be more painful than it has to be.

The Grace of the Feminine reminds us:

“There is nothing out there that is going to save me. There is nothing wrong with me, and othere is nothing I need to fix.

This is a very sacred moment of awakening to new patterns and belief systems held deep within my body, essence, and spirit that I must overcome with the support of God, Goddess, Spirit, the Universe.”

And as difficult, challenging, heartbreaking, or life-altering as these ‘destructive’ experiences can be, and trust me when I say, I know how difficult, challenging, heartbreaking, or life-altering these moments can be, I will share this:

There is nothing made of God’s light that did not come from the depth of separation between light and dark.

Meaning, to bear witness and embody the grace and magnitude of the Divinity that is held within you, the contrast of things falling apart is the only way to receive and anchor that Blessing.

I’m not saying you're endowed with a life of suffering as you carry more light.

Just the opposite.

If you are off your path or need an 'adjustment', the collapse or breaking point may be one of catastrophe or imbalance. But eventually, through time, you will refine. You will become aware of the power behind the subtleties of your thoughts and emotions. As you do, you will gain more strength. You will anchor into your Sacred Responsibility for what it means to be human at this time. And every time you do that, you are training your body and spirit to remember that you don’t need catastrophe to let the light in. You can be nudged along the way, and trust that you will listen to what is calling you. You will devote yourself to aligning and trusting instead of pushing through or doing what has been done before you. And this is how destruction can truly bring Grace and Beauty more often than not.

That gap of time between ‘letting go of what does not serve’ and experiencing the Grace & Beauty that comes from letting it go, can truly be minimized the more you practice it! Just like turning in the keys and immediately feeling my light body Light up!

So remember, if you are at a point of transition—a down turn, a breakup, a death—whatever it looks like for you. Trust that in this breaking moment, in the falling of your spirit, in the separation of your heart veils, Light will inevitably seep through. This is how this matrix is designed. It is inevitable for you.

Through every crack of this human experience, there is the light of God.

Through every crack of this human experience, is the light of God.

May you trust in the Great coin of Creation and Destruction and may you open to receiving its full Grace and Beauty.

Quantum healing energy sessions are available if you are in need of support on your journey at this time.